For those who kill invasive species but still feel bad about it

I killed my first Spotted Lanternfly today.

I've been hearing about them for a few years now, but this was the first time I actually saw one. Ki was on the sidewalk outside a highway rest stop on Long Island, a few hours' drive south of where I live Upstate. "Oh noooo," I thought. "They're here."

I'm well informed about them -- what they look like, the damage they do to agricultural plants and forests, the directive to stomp them -- so I knew what I was supposed to do.

But I didn't want to.

I looked at the lanternfly, walking along innocently with ki's big eyes and beautiful wings, probably with no clue the destruction ki's brethren are causing. It's not ki's fault that ki ended up here, so far from ki's homeland. Ki just wants to be alive like any other living being. So I took a deep breath, looked away, silently said "I'm sorry," in my head, and flinched as I stomped.

How can I kill a creature when I'm trying to teach people to love and respect all living things -- especially the underappreciated, overly-maligned insects?

Besides, it always feels hypocritical to condemn the individuals of a non-native species when I myself am the descendent of immigrants whose arrival has drastically altered the biome I'm living in. It's not my fault that I'm here on this continent, either.

Before too much longer, I'm sure I'll be seeing Spotted Lanternflies where I live. Then I'll be confronted with this every day. If I stomp them whenever I see them, deep down I'll feel like a murderer. But if I don't, then I'll be a bystander to ecological destruction.

We want to live "in harmony" with nature, but the truth is that Conservation is full of ethical dilemmas like this, and there are no easy answers. Sometimes the well-being of the ecosystem is in conflict with the well-being of inidividual creatures.

Even when I choose to do what's best in terms of Conservation as a whole, it feels important to me to acknowledge the tradeoffs and sacrifices that are being made. If I say "Oh, it's just a bug," and sweep my emotions aside, I would be dulling my ability to feel empathy for ALL insects. I appreciate the work of ecologists who do invasive species control for a living, who aren't as affected by it emotionally the way I am. Even though I do intend to kill Spotted Lanternflies when I see them in the future, I'm still probably going to feel bad about it. And I think that's ok.